Is It Better To Approach Girls In Tokyo In English Or Japanese?

By Kaku Nanashi


A hot subject of argument amongst the sexually prolific bilinguals in Japan is whether you should approach Japanese girls in English or Japanese.

For myself, approaching Japanese girls in English has always yielded better results. But bear in mind that I am not an average foreigner, so the particulars of your situation may be different form mine. In any case, here is my reasoning.

Reason # 1: To Stand Out and Avoid Sociocultural Assumptions

Most Japanese men who approach strange women and attempt to chat them up do a absolutely terrible job of it. It's just not a normal activity in Japanese culture. Therefore, it is important to differentiate yourself from these chumps by using English when you approach a Japanese girl, especially if you look Japanese like I do. Triggering a subconscious response that labels you as a chump is never a good idea.

If I holler at a woman by simply stating "hello", it right away reveals that I am not native Japanese. This gives me a pass on all the mandatory social expectations in Japanese culture and any negative impressions of Japanese wannabe playboys she may have.

English-speaking asians are also somewhat intriguing to Japanese people due to our relative rarity. That extra bit of intrigue definitely has bought me a couple extra moments to work my charm on multiple occasions. If you're a non-asian, I still recommend using English initially because it will make any Japanese that you drop later in your interaction will be that much more of a welcome surprise.

Reason # 2: Fast Filtering and Predictable Responses

Most interactions in Japanese follow a very set sequence of polite phrases and tempered behaviors. Japanese people typically operate on autopilot in common social situations. This makes it very difficult for the uninitiated to the gauge how interested a Japanese girl may be. Using English to initiate a conversation short circuits these automatic responses and gives you a better look at what a Japanese girl is really feeling at the moment.

Reason # 3: Less Excuses

Waltzing up to women you don't know and initiating conversation can be stressful. And even though my Japanese is near-native level, conversing in English is still much more comfortable for me. To encourage myself to, or rather to prevent discouraging myself from approaching girls, I stick to an ultra-simple set of English phrases.

Also, English education may be very, very bad in Tokyo, but girls will still understand you if you say simple things like "Hi!" You might as well make use of the language that you're most comfy with.

A Final Word

I see zero downside to this strategy, particularly for anyone who can comfortably speak both languages. In terms of efficiency of time and effort, using English to approach Japanese women is 2nd to none in Japan. It will be intriguing to see if this approach likewise works for bilinguals of other countries with various cultures.




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